"We look stunning in purple."

The Trials of Coach Sheridan

"Coach Sheridan gets ready for the
next Interstellar Baseball League game."

(We see Sheridan and 5 Narns on the baseball field from the episode "Knives". All are wearing baseball uniforms styled after the Minbari-style EA uniforms introduced in "Ceremonies of Light and Dark", with "Babylon 5 Rangers" embroidered on the front. 4 Narns are in the outfield and one is at the plate with Sheridan.)

Sheridan: OK, Na'Strike, now step into the ball... good, good. (the Narn hits the ball) Pretend the ball is someone's head... great! Keep up the good work. (walks over to Garibaldi, who's wearing a umpire's outfit) You know, I'm glad G'Kar decided to lend us the local branch of the Narn Bat Squad. Now if Marcus will just use a bat instead of that damn Minbari pike, we'll have a good chance against the Psi-Corps Teeps. If we could figure out how to keep them from knowing what kind of pitch the pitcher's going to throw, that is.

Garibaldi: Yeah. ...can I ask you a question?

Sheridan: Sure.

Garibaldi: Can't you find someone else to be umpire?

Sheridan: Well, you're the best man for the job.

Garibaldi: Well, yeah, but...

Sheridan: Come on. You're head of station security. You mean to tell me you can't handle being an umpire?

Garibaldi: Station security is easy. Being an umpire is extremely hazardous to your health.

Sheridan: Good point.

Garibaldi: Well, at least we're not playing the Vorlons. You know how they are about base calls. "The ball has always been here." (rolls eyes)

(Just then Lennier comes in, wearing a uniform and carrying several water bottles, which he hands to the Narns. Ivanova is right behind him, wearing a Babylon 5 Rangers cheerleader outfit complete with miniskirt and grey pom-poms.)

Garibaldi: (smiles) Helloooo, Ivanova.

Ivanova: Put a sock in it, Garibaldi. (to Sheridan) You can't be serious. Do you honestly expect me to wear this?

Sheridan: Humor me, Susan. Besides, if you think that's bad you should see the Cheerleader Encounter Suit Lyta has to wear.

Ivanova: I still don't see why you took me off the team. I'm the best hitter you've got!

Sheridan: Yes, but the other teams complained about how it wasn't fair for us to have God in our lineup. Besides, umpires kept wanting to bring up assault and battery charges on you.

Ivanova: Well, it's not my fault that all umpires are blind. ...no offense, Mr. Garibaldi.

Garibaldi: None taken.

Sheridan: So where's Delenn?

Ivanova: Still in her quarters. Said something about looking up the details for the Minbari ritual for cheerleading...

First posted in rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated on August 28, 1998

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