"We look stunning in purple."

Babylon 5 and Space Cases

(A transcript of a Space Cases chat between
myself and a few fellow SC/B5 fans.)

Jeysie: So... any more SC topics?

Twilight Wanderer: How would SC be different if you replaced Commander Goddard with Captain Sheridan?

Jeysie says to Twilight Wanderer: Oy. There's a kicker.

Twilight Wanderer: I mean, he'd keep trying to get nukes, because they're the solution to every problem...

Jeysie: Well, for starters, he wouldn't care that there were no weapons, just send in the nukes!

Jeysie says to Twilight Wanderer: OK, this is getting weird.

Twilight Wanderer: Yah. It's like Chris Carter scripted the chat...

Jeysie: He'd be dating Miss D. Either that, or he'd space her.

Twilight Wanderer: Okay, forget Sheridan... Replace Miss Davenport with Ivanova...

Jeysie: Tee hee... Goddard would be toast.

Twilight Wanderer: And the kids would be *much* better behaved...

Jeysie: And she'd be very wary of Elmira, and Suzee? Forget it.

Jeysie: And Bova would get some lessons on "real" pessimism...

Twilight Wanderer: She'd wipe the floor with Harlan, as soon as he stepped out of line...

Jeysie: Thelma would drive her insane. "If you do a stupid dance one more time..."

Twilight Wanderer: Hmn... How to stick Garibaldi in...

Jeysie: Fellow Stardog.

Twilight Wanderer: Oh, the horror we'd get then, with Garibaldi running around on the Christa...

Jeysie: Him and Radu could talk socks... (wink, wink)

Twilight Wanderer: Of course, he'd shoot Thelma in just about every episode ("And I thought Sparky the Computer was bad...")

Jeysie: (spins the food wheel) Hey, look! My third favorite thing in the universe! All right!

Twilight Wanderer: Another way to change the tone of SC... Replace the Christa with the White Star... (byer-bye, Shank...)

Jeysie: Harlan would have a blast with that baby...

Twilight Wanderer: And Goddard would get the Big Comfy Captain's Chair (tm)

Jeysie: What about those beds? I loved that scene where Sheridan is trying to sleep, but he keeps sliding down...

Twilight Wanderer: Well, there'd be some interesting complaining scenes... Especially with Davenport trying to use them.

Jeysie: I can see Marcus on the Christa, somehow...

Twilight Wanderer: Marcus on the Christa... Oh, joy... *Two* annoying British accents...

Jeysie: Hey, he reads too much, and talks too much. I can relate to that much, at least.

Twilight Wanderer: One wonders how the kids would react to Marcus...

Jeysie: Harlan would probably think he was the coolest thing since sliced bread.

Twilight Wanderer: Having a Ranger on board would change the plots of a few episodes, that's for sure... ("Space Pirates? Bah. I'll take care of the stupid pillock.")

Jeysie: Marcus and the Spung. Eek.

Twilight Wanderer: Marcus vs. the Spung Goons (tm) form "A Friend in Need". Short fight? I think so.

Twilight Wanderer: From. Dang.

Jeysie: I mentioned to Tracey not too long ago, The Spung Bat Squad. With Philadelphia Phillies uniforms.

Jeysie: Or the Ontario Rangers? Or is that Toronto?

Jeysie: Or am I way off base?

Twilight Wanderer: Way off base... Toronto Blue Jays. The Rangers are a NY hockey team.

Twilight Wanderer: Or the Babylon 5 softball team. :)

Jeysie: Argh! Well, goes to show how much I know about sports.

Jeysie: Well, at least G'Kar isn't on the Christa. The Spung would never know what hit them.

Jeysie: On the other hand, Londo would probably try to strike a deal with them, perhaps. For the good of the Republic, of course.

Twilight Wanderer: Replace Robin Leach's character from "A Star is Boring" with Morden...

Jeysie: Ouch! Bova, baby! What do you want?

Twilight Wanderer: Bova: Servant of the Shadows... *shudder*

Jeysie: I wonder, is Elmira part Vorlon? Those prophecies of hers...

Twilight Wanderer: Heh... "After years of travel, the Christa arrives at Earth Alliance Station Babylon 5..."

Jeysie: So the White Circle is akin to the rift in Sector 14?

Twilight Wanderer: "Zathras said, do not send the ship to find the children. But, no one ever listens to Zathras... No, no, no... Not good..."

Jeysie: That's it! The Christa was sent to the Starcademy as some kind of prophetic plan by Valen, the Minbari, and the Vorlons!

Twilight Wanderer: Maybe it was just the race that built the great machine that's responsible...

Jeysie: So, Sinclair is the One that was, Delenn is the One that is, Sheridan is the One that will be, and the Christa crew are the Ones... from another dimension? No, that thought went off track somewhere...

Jeysie: "Zathras see Goddard and say... not the One. Definitely not the One."

Jeysie: "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. And now it *is* tomorrow..."

Twilight Wanderer: Hmm... Zathras and Thelma conversing...

Jeysie says to Twilight Wanderer: Oh, my. The universe would fall apart.

Twilight Wanderer: "You cannot run out of *time*, there is *infinite* time... You are finite... Zathras is finite... This... This is wrong tool. No, not good... Never use this..."

Jeysie: So, would we have the King Arthur guy instead of Dram? The UPP/Spung war started when the Spung had their gunports open...

Twilight Wanderer: Of course, the Spung *were* going to attack...

Jeysie: They are not Minbari.

Jeysie: Not enough candles, for one.

Twilight Wanderer: They're not even as nice as the Narn...

Twilight Wanderer: They probably have worse eating habits than the Vree, too...

Jeysie: They're like the Narn and the Centauri together, with a bit of the Shadows tossed in to taste...

Jeysie: Funny... all this B5/SC talk, and no one mentioned Dr. Franklin...

Twilight Wanderer: That's because he's relatively boring...

Jeysie: This is true.

Twilight Wanderer: Now, Zack. There's humour there.

Jeysie: Zack on the Christa. Hmm.

Jeysie: He'd hate the jumpsuits, I bet.

Twilight Wanderer: Zack, hitting on Miss Davenport. Because he would.

Jeysie: Just one thing. Can you see any B5 person traversing the jumptubes?

Twilight Wanderer: Well, Marcus would probably enjoy them... ("Wheeeeeeeee!")

Robert: Delenn... she'd love it.

Robert: And Sheridan would be like "I just don't get it."

Twilight Wanderer: Ivanova would insist on walking.

Jeysie: Ivanova, I'm not sure.

Jeysie: Londo would avoid them like the plague, I bet.

Twilight Wanderer: G'Kar wouldn't fit...

Twilight Wanderer: Neither would Vir...

Jeysie: Garibaldi probably would spend all day using them, if he could. I think he'd love them.

Jeysie : I mean, anyone who loved Daffy Duck...

Jeysie : Loves, that is.

Twilight Wanderer : Hmmm... Talia or Lyta? I'm not sure...

Jeysie : I can't see either of them using one. What about Sinclair?

Twilight Wanderer: Sinclair might, but only if they seemed dangerous...

Jeysie: Zack might complain about them...

Twilight Wanderer: Kosh would just get frustrated by the entire ship... Then, he'd reason with it, start moving through floors and stuff...

Jeysie: Draal would just say, "So where exactly do you hook into this thing?"

Jeysie: Kosh would drive Goddard even nuttier than he did Sheridan.

Twilight Wanderer: Lennier would just follow Delenn like a little lost puppy...

Jeysie: How about Vir?

Twilight Wanderer: Vir would be certifiable within days.

Jeysie: Certifiably... crazy?

Twilight Wanderer: Yah.

Jeysie: Ah.

Jeysie: Morden and the jumptubes... well, would the Shadows fit? That's the kicker.

Jeysie: Delenn on the Christa. There's one for ya.

Twilight Wanderer: She'd like it. A little too much, perhaps...

Jeysie: Yeah, my thoughts, too.

Jeysie: Well, seeing as how there's a whole ton of prophecy with SC, she'd probably have to keep an eye on Goddard or something...

Twilight Wanderer: Imagine Marcus, rigging an "accident", so he and Ivanova get "stuck in the jumptubes" together. heh heh...

Jeysie : Suzee: We'll have you out soon, don't worry! Marcus: No, take your time! Ivanova: No, please hurry!

Twilight Wanderer: LOL!!!

Jeysie: (grin)

Twilight Wanderer: Harlan's reaction when he sees Lyta or Talia (depending on his personal tastes)...

Jeysie: Definitely Lyta, I think.

Twilight Wanderer: Probably. Talia would also have the added problem of Garibaldi following her all the time...

Jeysie: Every time she comes out of a jumptube...

Twilight Wanderer: That would be very scary... And, of course, as soon as Harlan begins fawning over Lyta...

Jeysie: It's the whole telepathic sex thing, really. But of course, this is a children's show...

Twilight Wanderer: No, no... Think of the further complicated jealousy situation...

Jeysie: Ack! You're right! *Two* telepaths!

Twilight Wanderer: Exactly. Suzee starts getting jealous, because Harlan's mooning over Lyta, and wackiness ensues!

Jeysie: That could be truly scary. Particularly if it's the post-Vorlon Lyta...

Twilight Wanderer: And, imagine G'Kar questioning Miss D. about her "pleasure threshold"... (even though it's a kids' show...)

Jeysie says to Twilight Wanderer: BTW, G'Kar and Miss D... would he really want Miss D? Since he's interested in Narn telepaths, you'd think Suzee... but that's a very scary thought.

Twilight Wanderer: #You raise the blade, you make the change, you rearrange me 'till I'm sane. Lock the door, and throw away the key, there's someone in my head, but it's not me...#

Twilight Wanderer: Sorry, been listening to Pink Floyd lately...

Twilight Wanderer: And I just thought that Miss D.'s reaction would be priceless... Also, G'kar apparently has a "thing" for human women...

Jeysie: Ah, yes.

Jeysie: Miss D's reaction... Yeah, that *would* be priceless.

Twilight Wanderer: #Breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care... Please, don't leave me, look around, choose your own ground...#

Twilight Wanderer: Hmm... I'm musical all of a sudden...

Jeysie: Probably because I think we're all B5-ed out.

Jeysie: Well, this was one of the odder SC-related chats... SC and B5. I wonder what Peter and Bill would think of that one.

Twilight Wanderer: Well, there are 499 days remaining until the new millennium...

Lynn: The new millennium doesn't begin until 2001.

Twilight Wanderer: But, what's more important is what people believe...

Jeysie: Well, some people believe that we're all going to die horrible deaths sometime around the new millennium...

Twilight Wanderer: Exactly. And maybe we will...

Lynn: It's a new millennium. Quite a few people will probably suicide, and not even know it isn't the next millennium yet.

Jeysie says to Twilight Wanderer: Nah. If we do, then JMS won't get to complete his Crusade story arc.

Jeysie: And you know what a cosmic tragedy that would be. ;)

Twilight Wanderer: And New Year's Eve, 1999 is going to be the big one, not 2000...

Lynn: Aside from people's reactions because they think we're all going to die, the only significant part of the millennium thing is the Year 2000 problem, which is actually before the new millennium.

Jeysie: I have the firm and complete belief that except for the suicides, we will all be perfectly fine in the new millennium. Except, as Lynn says, our computers.

Twilight Wanderer: Also, in the C.E. calendar, 2000 *is* a new millennium, because the CE calendar has a year 0...

Lynn: (shrug) The whole idea of another millennium is created by people; there's no actual significance to the date. If people get it wrong and it's a year early, it doesn't matter.

Lynn: And as Tracey would no doubt point out if she were here, in the Jewish calendar the next millennium is quite a ways off.

Twilight Wanderer: I still like the 5/5/2000 prophecies... Or Nostradamus' bit about "war from the sky" in 1999...

Jeysie: What's supposed to happen on 5/5/2000? A big nasty asteroid? Or a war?

Twilight Wanderer: Or the Mayan calendar... December 24th, 2011 (by our calendar) the fifth world will end. In fire.

Jeysie: Fifth world? "It was the dawn of the fifth world of mankind"... in B5, if it's the third age, what were the first two ages?

Twilight Wanderer: 5/5/2000 is the year of (as some scientists have put it) "The Shift". An alignment of the planets will create a unique gravitational pull on the Earth, resulting in the final stage of a geological phenomena which has happened before, and is believed to be beginning... The crust of the earth, shifting 45 degrees...

Jeysie: Is that the one where CA finally gets the "Big One"?

Jeysie: And turns into an island?

Robert: Wow... talk about the Millennium Bug... hehe

Twilight Wanderer: Maybe. "And that which was a cold land, will find itself more tropical"... I love prophecies...

Jeysie: I like prophecies on TV shows. In real life... bleh. But they do interest me.

Twilight Wanderer: And (in case you hadn't guessed), I'm a fan of Chris Carter's "Millennium".

Jeysie: (sigh) Well... Lochley on the Christa? ;)

Twilight Wanderer: Well, I'm impressed. I've barely spoken of Becky all night... Everyone else, though...

Twilight Wanderer: I h8 Lochley... She's incredibly uninteresting... Too bad Claudia Christian was too much of a professional to stay on the show...

Jeysie: Well, the only people left are Corwin, and Bo and Mack from "A View From the Gallery". Other than that, this thread is dead... much to Lynn's relief, I'm sure.

Lynn: (grin) Nah, doesn't matter to me.

Jeysie: Well, there's Byron, but best not to go there. And Bester? Forget it.

Twilight Wanderer: Bester meets Shank.... "You... Remind me of someone..." "Yes, Warlord Shank finds you familiar as well..."

Jeysie: (chuckle) BTW, for Lynn's benefit... Bester is played by Walter Koenig, a.k.a. Chekov.

Lynn: Ah. I was wondering, since I doubted he was also played by George Takei.

Jeysie: George Takei as Bester. (snicker)

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